Well, according to my self-promise of write at least a few lines everyday in english as an essay to my level test next friday, here I am, ready to write about...Salt, yes, because I have to find some information about it for class. It thought it would be interesting, but... is boring me to tears!!!

I mean, what's salt, first question to ask...well NaCl, a mineral rock and all that stuff I studied years ago at college, History of salt, more of the same, well, to be sincere, I didn't studied it at college but I read it plenty of times in my bedside table book of all times, The Clan of the Cave Bear and all the saga (the fourth book is a total crap, I was so disappointed when I read it, Ayla was my heroine, the girl I wanted to be when I grew up, and suddenly it was just another disgustingly perfect Mary Sue, I hated it!). So, I'm reading the info at wiki, and I don't want to make a copy-paste kind of work, but I'm so not in the mood to make an effort about it that I'm really tempted.

I think it would be the best idea if I let it be, and tomorrow start over with it.

See you tomorrow (maybe I'll talk about chocolate, I have to write an essay about it too ^^)

Since a long time posting just in spanish, I decided to come back to english, because I would like to take the CAE exam in december, so I went this afternoon with my father to the British Council in Valencia for information about the courses.

They said that I need to test my level before start any class, so they gave me a date for next friday. I'm quite nervous, because I've always been crap at grammar, and I'm afraid it would be all the test is about. 

So maybe it would be the best for me to try to write at least a few lines everyday in english to improve my fluency. Maybe Jane Austen will help!!!

Fingers crossed! (I think that if I keep the fingers crossed til next friday, they'll become a bit painfully cranky, right?)

Una vez me dijo un amigo que le daba vueltas a las cosas tres veces más que el resto de las personas, y yo pensé que estaba siendo un exagerado, ¿cómo iba a ser eso? ¿Acaso la gente no le da más de 600 vueltas a las cosas? ¿Se quedan en 597?

Ahora pienso que quizá tuviera razón. Aquellos que son cercanos a mi saben que es verdad, que llevo dándole vueltas al mismo tema años y bueno, el hecho de que sólo falten 3 meses para que acabe el 2009 no está mejorando las cosas. Tengo una espada de Damocles encima y la veo pender sobre mi cabeza con ominosa cercanía. Cada día que pasa y tacho del calendario hace que el peso sobre mis hombros aumente. No sé si voy a ser capaz de hacerlo, de enfrentarme a una realidad que quizá no quiero saber, de vivir con el conocimiento de que las cosas nunca serán como las soñé.

Vivir con los ojos cerrados es tan fácil, es tan sencillo dejarse llevar por los sueños, por la fantasía de que lo que anhelas pueda ser verdad...Me debo a mi misma hacer frente a las cosas, ahora estoy en un punto sin retorno, y la verdad es que no puedo seguir así. Tengo que seguir adelante con mi vida y no vivirla en aras de la esperanza de que las cosas sean como yo quiero.

Lo que me lleva a pensar en la injusticia que me parece que no sean así. ¿Por qué nunca salgo ganando? Estoy tan cansada de estar siempre en el mismo maldito punto, tan harta de recoger mis pedazos una y otra vez del suelo e intentar reconstruírme, siendo cada vez más difícil hacerlo. No sé si esta vez seré capaz de superarlo o me convertiré en piedra definitivamente.

Lo peor es que ya no sólo pienso en ello cuando no estoy haciendo nada, o cuando apago la luz por las noches y me quedo a solas conmigo misma, no. No puedo pensar en otra cosa, las 24 horas del día. Sinceramente, estoy agotada mentalmente, y aterrada.

Me da tanto miedo, tanto...

Hey!!!

It's been a long time since my last update!

Well, my life went crazy for bit, and I wasn't on the mood to write about it or to talk about it, if I told the truth. Afert being in London for a month and half, where I was working at a catering company called Just Hospitality, I begun to wonder about the type of life I was living, and the things I really liked ant the things I really wanted to do.

Most of you know that I was having a hard time with my career...You know that I love Biology, I really love it, I think that is the most beautiful career in the world, but...I simply cannot do it, I don't know why  I couldn't pass the subjects, I wasn't...motivated to spend more hours studying...It was that sensation of failure, claustrophoby and wrongness for six years, and it was killing me. I felt like a stupid girl, when I knew that I'm not stupid, I 'm perfectlly capable and I'm a hard worker girl. Why I was trying so hard without achieve anything? It was like chocking.

I couldn't seen myself in ten years working as a biologist, I started dreaming about cooking, and have my own restaurant, and that beautiful coffee-bookshop, and an amazing Bed&Breakfast at England...If I wanted to study for being a cook, why not do it NOW and stopping to have pesimistic thoughts about my miserable professional life? You know, I'm an action-girl, If I want it, I work to have it. I had to stop moping and begin acting.

I had a very hard time wondering what to do and finnally, after almost a year of thinking, crying and feeling like crap, I decided to quit Biology (which I was starting to hate, and I think that was so sad it had to stop), for the moment, and start a new career in the cook profession.

The beggings were hard, very hard. My parents didn't took very well my decision, but they are wonderful persons, and not only they love me, they know me better than anyone, and they know about my passion for cooking, and you know, I'm not bad about it!!! Ask my friends!

Right now I'm feeling really satisfied with myself for a very long time. I'm happy!!!! The last time I was that happy was at London, when Dean Kennett give the job at JH (and I think it was more relief than happiness^^). I've achieved very good grades at all my subjects, I've made some very good friends (well, friends friends, just one, but quite nice people), I know that I'm not stupid, I feel intelligent again and well...I'm ecstatic as you can see!!!!

Wish me good luck in this chapter of my life!!! I'll invite you for dinner at some point!!!!

Thanks all of you who has been there for me at every step of this decission, because, even if I didn't told you anything, your love, support and believing in me and my skills is very important. I love you all so much I can't express it just in words, hugs and "coulants au chocolat". It's more than that, more than anything. Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of love, pink hearts, chubby angels and sugar floating all around us!!!! Dance in circle, giving our hands and sing out loud cheerful songs, fluffy people!!!! Life is Beautiful!!!

Hello!!!

It's been such a long time since my last post!!!!!

Wooaaah....I'm a lazy girl concernig to update my livejournal...not that anyone really cares, so...what for I'm going to do the effort to write something here?? If its really important, I'll ring my friends and tell the news.

Buuut, today is my birthday, and as every year I'm quite receptive to horoscopes, divination technics, etc... And the curiosity killed the cat. I went to my horoscope profile at www.astro.com and checked on my horoscope for today and my being in love and relationships (I'm alone as the moon, so I'm always lurking for information about it) and this is my profile as lover.

Sólo de pensarlo me dan escalofríos por todo el cuerpecillo!!! me voy a ver Jesucristo Superstar este sábado! No me lo puedo de creé.

Hi!!!

I'm back at Spain, and I wish I could said that I'm happy here, and enjoying my cat, but is not true (the part that I'm happy, I'm enjoying Cayden so much!!) because I can't stand my parents, they are nice, very nice, but I think they don't really understand that I'm 23 years old, and they don't need to take care of me, or know everywhere I go, or whit who...I don't know, I'm not comfortable at my own house, I'm nervous and sad all the time, and I'm missing so much the people I left at UK...I don't know how I'm going to live like that, I don't want to argue every day whit them, but I think that is not going to be possible...the things are quite tense and a bit angry for me...

Well, I'm going to have some dinner, watch TV, knitt a slytherin scarf and read a bit at bed.

Good night and enjoy your lives if you can!! Do it for me, please!!!!

Kisses for everybody